Daniel's TV Blog

I really liked last night's episode of LOST. It was good so see a cool mystery slowing unwind while they weaved in events from the past two and a half seasons. The whole time I was planning on hating the episode. How can people flashback when they are dead? I was going to call shenanigans on the show and possible claim it jumped the shark. Of course at the end they hit me with a twist that makes it all better: they weren't really dead. Well now they probably are after being buried alive under 3-4 feet of dirt. They would surely suffocate before regaining the strength to dig out. But this is a strange island so who knows. Paulo and Nikki acted with the same level of secrecy and distrust as the rest of the survivors. They didn't tell anyone about the beachcraft, the Pearl, Ben and Juliet, or the walkie. Also, the first flashback scene with Billy Dee Williams was possibly the funniest scene on the show so far.

Labels: LOST

The last two seasons of The Amazing Race were obviously rigged to keep the favorite teams in the game. Last year, the Hippies got every break. In the fall, the West Virginia coal miners kept getting "non-eliminated". I got my faith back this season when Rob and Amber, the most popular team in the history of the show, were eliminated in Argentina. Hooray! I'm so pleased. They were both jerks. I was also overjoyed to the Terri and Ian get the boot. Recently, Mirna and Shmirna have taken first place. The new issue we haven't seen since season one is a huge difference in time. Thanks to the efficient African air service, the last team is over 12 hours behind the first team. This means Mirna and Shmirna left the pitstop before Team Guido arrived. Here's were they rank.

1. Mirna and Charla - Two weeks in first place. I'm so sick of them and their strange broken English. "I do nails for you?"
2. Team Cha-Cha-Cha. Danny and Oswald have the best average placing of any other team. They are the only team I'm still rooting for. They would have been first this week if they didn't stop to go shopping at a roadside fruit stand. Just buy the fruit and jump back in your van, don't browse and select.
3. Uchenna and Joyce. They won once. I'm tired of liking them. Oh, who am I kidding, I could never stop liking them. Go Uchenna and Joyce!
4. Dustin and Candice. The beauty queens have been less annoying than in past weeks. They still suck.
5. Eric and Danielle. Mr. and Mrs. Bickerson are getting on my nerves. Why do they keep fighting with the Guidos.
6. Team Guido. Joe and Bill are the oldest couple left in the race. They really need to learn to wear age appropriate clothing. Yes they have good bodies for fifty-somethings. I still don't want to see them in skin tight Under Armour.

I don't know how Team Guido can pull out of their huge time debt. This Sunday there are running two episodes back to back. I'm thinking the first will be the non-pitstop, pitstop.

Season Three of Battlestar Galactica concluded on Sunday. It was a great, great episode, but kind of a weekend "shocker finale". Let's examine the past "shocker finales". In season one, Boomer confirmed she was a Cylon and then shot Adama on the bridge in front of everyone. Also Starbuck fought a number six and found the Air Fapolo on Caprica. And Baltar and Chip-Six see the future of things in the Kobol Opera House. It was surprising and changed many things. It took seven episodes in the next season to resolve everything. In season two, Baltar was elected President, Cloud Nine blew up, they settled on New Caprica, a year went by, and the Cylons returned and took over. It was full of surprises and was possibly the best cliff hanger in the history of television. It took four episodes to resolve everything the next season. Now we are in season three. Baltar is found not guilty. Adama voted not guilty. Four of the final five Cylons are revealed to be Saul, Tory, Sam, and Galen (pictured). The fleet become sitting ducks for the waiting Cylon fleet. Starbuck returns, or does she? And Earth is revealed to be somewhere in the same galaxy as the fleet. While these are big new plots which will take lots of season four to resolve, I would not call any other these "shocking." Honestly I was waiting for Starbuck to return the entire episode. I would have been shocked if that wasn't Starbuck in the other Viper. The crazy music the four were hearing clued me in to the fact that these were the Cylons. I would have been shocked if they weren't. A guilty Baltar would have been too easy so the not guilty verdict is what I was expecting. The only thing I was genuinely shocked about was Starbuck revelation: "I've been to Earth. I know where it is. And I'm going to take us there." She only died like two weeks ago and she's already been to Earth and back? Also, Vipers don't have FTL. How'd she get there?

Now that I'm done ranting about the lack of shock value, let me go on by saying what I loved about the episode. The courtroom scene was great. Lee gave a great speech about how everyone is guilty and yet they only want to punish Baltar. As the audience we know Baltar is guilty of many things: supplying terrorists with a nuke, not exposing Boomer as a Cylon, helping the Cylons find the road to Earth. But the other humans don't know about these crimes so there really was no choice but to find him not guilty. It would have made more sense to have made this speech as part of the closing arguments instead of as a witness, though. The revelation of four of the final five was pretty cool. They were shocked to see the others but they all knew. And Laura and Sharon are getting along again as they search for the answers to they shared dream with Caprica Six.

Now I'd like to share my theories. First is about the Cylon fleet. I believe the final five Cylons broke off from the other seven before the attack on the colonies. They put some sleeper agents in place somehow as well. The final five fleet is not hostile to the humans and that's the fleet they encountered in the nebula. When Starbuck "died" they took her and showed her Earth. I don't think Starbuck is the last Cylon. In fact I think she might be more than any other them. I think she might be one of the Lords of Kobol reincarnated. That is how she survived and how only Lee was able to find her. I also think the nebula is somehow rebroadcasting the old Bob Dylan song All Along the Watchtower to the Cylons. The vicinity to the final five fleet and the nebula awakened their hidden memories to who and what they are.

There are so many questions which need to be addressed. I still can't believe we have to wait UNTIL NEXT JANUARY before we get episode 4.01. That is cruel and unusual punishment. One could grow a new human being from a single cell in that time. At least their season was expanded to 20 episodes with a two hour movie to air in the fall. So we only have to wait about six month to see the TV movie about The Pegasus adventure after the fall of the colonies.

Video may have killed the radio star, but Viacom has killed the video. So by the transitive property, Viacom killed the radio star. Does that logic work? I don't care I just liked saying it. In the past ten days I have received two copyright infringement notices from YouTube on some of my videos I've uploaded. Viacom slapped me for having a Best Week Ever clip up. This is ridiculous since they don't make any money on the clip once it finishes the weekend run. Is it for sale online? Is it available on DVD? Is it even online somewhere for free with ads which they make revenue on? No, no, no. I put it up to show the world how brilliant the show can be and hopefully get more viewers for them. The old saying is true, "no good deed goes unpunished." Also, I wanted to get more awareness for Frangela. They are the funniest thing about BWE these days. We want more Frangela!

• 30 Rock's The Rural Juror
• Simpsons' Posiedon Adventure spoof
• Simpsons' Brokeback Mountain spoof
• Scrubs' clip with Elliot freaking out
• Robot Chicken's Lego Egyptians

I haven't watched American Idol since Kelly Clarkson had her special moment. You know, the moment like this. The one she waited her lifetime for. It was such an innocent age. I can't bear to watch anymore. It's soooo boring. Why is this the number one show? Now I have a new reason to watch: http://www.votefortheworst.com/. This is a website which advocates everyone voting for the worst singer to keep him/her in the competition the longest just to mess with the show. For the past few weeks, that person has been Sanjaya. They've been very successful and subsequently have been getting a lot of press. Rosie talked about them on The View. Letterman asked drunk Paula about them. And apparently they were mentioned on the show by one of the contestants. This is the most interesting thing to happen to American Idol in years and I think I will start watching again next week. I've been watching clips on the Internet for the past few weeks, but it's back on my TiVo as of today.

I was watching the 100 Greatest Songs of the '80s on VH1 this weekend (btw, the greatest song was Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi) and I noticed this guy doing some of the commentary who I didn't recognize. He turned out to be Dave Holmes. I thought he was hot so I Googled him. He gained mild celebrity status in the 90's for a show called Wanna be a VJ on MTV. Also he was born 32 days after me and he is gay. I think he is super hot, although he's probably like 5'6" so it would never work out. Dave, if you read this, call me. :-)

As I keep saying, no one ends an episode better than LOST. It could have ended well with the explosion in the sub. They pushed it up one more with the reveal of Locke's father Cooper in a closet. They gave us a lot of information (or did they?) about the mystical events on the island. Ben's description of a "Magic Box" could mean on of three things: (1) There's a physical place on the island that gives one what is asked for, (2) The entire island is the box and which gives you what you want, (3) It's all bull shit to mess with Locke's head. The later seems unlikely since Locke got the use of his legs back some how. Now that the sub is gone, is there anyway to get off the island? How did Michael and Walt get off then? How do the Dharma drops find the island?

Here's what we learned:

• Locke was in the wheel chair for four years
• Locks ended up in the wheelchair after his father tried to kill him.
• Richard Alpert, the guy who recruited Juliet, is on the island.
• Jack can play the piano

And here's some new questions:

• Is there a magic box or is this just a metaphor?
• How long was Cooper on the island?
• Did he arrive before or after Flight 815?
• How did he get there?
• What's going to happen to Jack, Kate, and Sayid?
• Will Delenn approach Alex?
• How are the Others generating power?
• Why isn't Ben healing as fast as he should be?
• Why was Locke soaking wet after planting the explosives on the sub?
• Since we now that Cooper was a con artist, is it possible he was also the con artist Sawyer has been looking for his whole life?
  

Labels: LOST

Season 3 is coming to a close. If it hasn't already aired yet and you are reading this, then you are invited to come over and watch it with me. The season started with the Colonials living in a Cylon prison camp. After four episode and the best space battle in the history of everything, there were back in space. At mid season they found an old Earth colonist outpost. When leaving that system, the sun exploded, Xena was put on ice, Helo and Sharon got their daughter back, and Baltar was captured. By the end of the season, Starbuck killed herself, Apollo resigned, the president got cancer again. Tonight is the continuation of the trial of Baltar. Supposedly the cliffhanger is going to be gooooooood. Last year I was jumping out of my chair at the finale. This year is supposed to be even more groundbreaking than that. Will we find out who the final five Cylons are?

Tonight is the start of season two of Workout on Bravo. It's the show about the private elite gym on the top floor of an old mid-rise office building in Beverly Hills. Jackie is our star trainer and owner of said health club. Last season she had a horrible girlfriend whom she broke up with at the end of the season. One of the other trainers on the show is hot hunky Doug (pictured). Sadly he died earlier this year. Reports of his death are sketchy at best but apparently he had a brain tumor. So sad.

Workout season one had lots of drama between the trainers as well as Jackie's love life. There were also some inspiring stories of weight loss and training goals among her clients. Don't miss it!

If you count two hour episodes as two, seasons one and two of LOST each had 24 episodes. The current season is set to have 22, but they might end with a double episode. I don't know why they would cut production down this season, but they might. Assuming 24 episodes in the now announced/rumored total five year plan, that would put 3.12 "Par Avion" at the exact half-way point of the series. We're living on a prayer.

• Claire and Jack are half-siblings. I guess they can't do "it".
• Othersville is protected by a sonic weapon fence which is kind of easy to climb over.
• Jack is integrated into Othersville society.
• Patchy knew a lot about the survivors but didn't mention anything about Delenn.

Here are the new questions:

• What turned Jack to the side of the Others?
• How does the sonic weapon fence work?
• Why put in a sonic weapon fence on a remote island anyway?
• Why not build a conventional fence with high voltage and razor wire?
• Where is the gate?
• Did the Others take over Otherville from the Dharma people?
• Are there any other beach survivors who are on the others list?
• What was Patchy about to say about Locke before Delenn interrupted?

This week we find out how Lock got in a wheelchair.

Labels: LOST

The good thing about well established cable channels like FX is they can get by with one or two new shows at a time. Nip/Tuck finished its fourth season in December and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is over the summer horizon. Right now they have two shows: Dirt, which I gave up on after the first episode, and The Riches. This is a surprisingly good show about unlikable characters. Eddie Izzard and Minni Driver star as the parents of a family of con artists and petty thieves. The premier was last Monday. As the family fled from their extended family of other traveling thieves, they were involved in a car accident which killed a rich couple on their way to their new home. The Malloy family then assumes the identity and move into their gated-community mcmansion. While the characters have no redeeming qualities as members of society, they have a deep love and caring for each other. I will be interested in seeing how long they can pull this off. Episode #2 is on tonight.

I'm sad too. But here's a look back at the last few weeks.

On 3-9-6, Frenchie Davis from American Idol had the best week ever. She was kicked off of American Idol for posing on nude websites. The white girl this year wasn't kicked off after her boobies were spotted only. Here's Frenchie singing "I'm Telling You" from Dreamgirls.


On 3-2-6, Girls with Great Personalities had the best week ever. Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar and the fat girls at Delta Zeta got purged. Here's Jennifer Hudson outshining Beyonce at the Oscars.


On 2-24-6, Esther Tognozzi had the best week ever. Who? She's the salon owner where Britney cut off all here hair.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is one of the hosts of The View along with Rosie O'Donnell, stand-up comic Joy Behar and of course Barbara Wawa. She's the conservative voice on the show. Most of the time she just spouts Bush talking points but yesterday she went over the top. Here are some of her quotes from the 3-15-07 episode where they were discussing the recent confessions of Khalid Sheikh Mohammad.

"I think the interrogation process is what we need."

"They should be put under pressure to where they confess things."

and my favorite that still makes my blood boil:
"If he [Khalid Sheikh Mohammad] is admitting to this stuff he should be tortured now for having a hand in 9/11."
So not only does she support torture as part of the interrogation process, she supports torture as a punishment. She is truly a despicable person.

When Rosie asked "So you believe in torture?" and EH did not answer and changed the subject.

Joy questioned whether torture was even effective.
Joy: "John McCain says torture doesn't work."
EH: "It doesn't all the time."

The EH quoted a study undermining torture: "They have done studies with criminals that criminals are more likely to say that they have committed a crime if they are treated with respect." So EH knows the studies and accounts saying torture is ineffective and yet she still supports it. People like her should not be allowed to breed.

Let me say that I personally believe no one should ever be tortured for any reason ever. I equate torture to rape as the two things that are true signs of evil. When the Abu Ghraib stories came out, I was appalled. My nation had suddenly become the bad guy. We were the Nazis or Imperial Japanese who were so sure of our superiority that we stopped viewing others as humans. I know that history will not be kind to us who let this happen.

Then she went on to defend the fact that none of the Guantanamo Bay prisoner has a lawyer.
"Why don't we give them milk and cookies, and a lawyer, and let him watch American Idol..."
I think this attitude comes from her highly privileged life. She's probably thinking everyday, "Why doesn't everyone go on Survivor, marry a professional football player, and get a national talk show. I did that." And they should all eat cake too. We need to treat others fairly if we expect to be treated fairly.

Her contempt for the Geneva Convention was also apparent: "The Geneva Convention also states they should receive a day of pay for everyday they are there." This seems hard to believe but it sounds exactly like one of the right-wing talking points to give their devotees a reason to ignore the Geneva Convention.

I'll finish with a quote she said a couple times: "I don't care to be liked." Mission accomplished.

The Lex-Lana relationship kinda came out of nowhere and now tonight they are getting married. A year ago during the disastrous fifth season, Lex professed his love for Lana but she ran away and then died. Sadly Clark reset the timeline so Lana never died and instead Jonathan died later. Did I mention last season sucked. Well this season Lana and Lex are pregnant and engaged. Tonight is the wedding. Will Clark forever hold his peace? I doubt it. I'm so sick of Lana. Clark needs to move on. We know he ends up with Lois in the end.

Tonight on NBC, Andy Ricter's new show Andy Barker, P.I. premiers. Andy is an accountant who moves into a new office formerly occupied by a private investigator. Suddely he starts getting cases and solving them. Also starring with Andy is Tony Hale, Buster from Arrested Development. If you miss it tonight, you can watch it online.

I was a big procrastinator this week. At last here is last week LOST report. I usually don't like Sayid episodes but this one was good. This was probably the most revealing episode of the season so far. We now know that the "Others" or the "hostiles" are not part of the Darhma Initiative. We knew previously that the Darhma Initiative still exists because of the food drop. We know also that the "Others" have contact with the outside and a recruitment program. Which means there are at least two outside organizations with operations on this island. Which leads to the biggest question: what's so important about this island? I was also happy to have a second episode in a row without Jack. He's a dick.

Here's the dialog in Russian:

• Klugh: Mikhail. Mikhail! You know what to do.
• Mikhail: We still have another way [out].
• Klugh: We cannot risk. You know the conditions.
• Mikhail: There is another way.
• Klugh: They captured us. We will not let them to get into territory.
• Klugh: You know what to do. It is an order.
• Mikhail: We still have another way! Klugh (in English): Just do it, Mikhail.
• Mikhail: Forgive me. (shoots)

Here's what we learned:

• The Flame was a Darhma Initiative communication facility
• The "others" took over the Flame at some point in the past
• Sayid worked as a cook in Paris
• Not even Sawyer knows who Nikki is
• Hurley is better at ping pong than Sawyer

New Questions:

• Will Sawyer keep his word and stop using nicknames?If so, will he stop using his own nickname and go by James Ford?
• Was Kelvin the last of the Darhma Initiative?
• Why didn't Patchy disarm the station's explosive?
• How did Patchy escape the ropes?
• Was there a Purge, a battle between the Darhma and the Others?
• What happened to the livestock after the explosion?
• What was "another way" that Mikhail spoke of in Russian

Tonight is a Claire episode. The preview suggested a surprise connection between two of the survivors. If it's that Claire is Jack's sister, that's really not a surprise. Everyone assumed that after the Ana Lucia episode.

Labels: LOST

Like naggers, whiners annoy me. One of the things I hear often from people when talking about different shows is "I missed the beginning, I can't just pick it up now." I've decided I'm no longer going to accept this. This is a lazy attitude that's just not true. Anyone who believes this is doing themselves a disservice by missing out on some good television. This year I have picked up two old shows that were new to me, How I Met Your Mother and The Gilmore Girls. Both had well established back stories which I picked up most of within half a season. So whenever anyone says I can't start watching [fill in the blank] now, I'm going to replay, "You are a lazy bastard and you are cheating yourself out of some great entertainment."

I loved last night's episode. It's the episode I've been waiting for since the season premier of the second season when Hurley told Jack Mr. Clucks was hit by a meteorite. That was cool. This was the funniest episode of the season by far. I think we have covered everything about Hurley's past now. The only other flashback they could do is the story of his best friend running off with his girlfriend, but I don't need to see that. I love the reporter, Tricia Tanaka. She is probably based on long time L.A. Asian reported Tritia Toyota from channel 2 in L.A. in the 80's and 90's. She was the only Asian on TV when I was little. Did you notice the brief appearance of the useless twins. I don't even remember their names anymore. I'm always happen when Delenn comes back. She's listed in the next two episodes.

• Past Swan Station inhabitants had a hippie-mobile
• Darhma makes beer
• Hurley knows how to drive
• Hurley lived in or near Diamond Bar. My aunt and uncle used to live in Diamond Bar. It's the slightly upscale neighbor to Chino east of L.A. and north of The O.C.

• What's with the trash in the back of the van?
• Why didn't they finish the road? Or did they finish it and it just got overgrown?
• What was road connecting the Swan station to?
• Is Roger's last name Workman?
• What are they going to do with the hippie-mobile now?

Labels: LOST