Wednesday, August 16, 2006

 

Daytime Soaps Have Lazy Writers

I've been watching Days of Our Lives since I left Microsoft 3.5 years ago. Of course I don't have as much time to watch an extra 5 hours of TV a week so I watch the compressed TiVo version. I watch the opening segment, up to the sands in the hourglass and then I skip to the 45 minute mark. Anything good happens at the beginning or the end. I can run through a week's episodes in about an hour. It's perfect television for folding laundry.

One thing I've noticed is the writers are extremely lazy. Jack Deveraux has been dying of a rare condition for the past two years or so. Ignore the fact that he already died twice since I started watching again, but both those were faked. The entire time he's been close to death they have never given his disease a name or described his symptoms. He just passes out occasionally. Then he gets into an experiential drug trial and what ever he has goes into remission. Would it be too much to ask that they make up a name for this rare but known condition, how about "Moyer Syndrome".

Also, the bad guys are just so uninspired. The current bad guy is only known as "the gloved one." We see a shadowy figure with a glove delivering blackmail notes and switching embryos but we never see who it is. This means (a) they haven't figured out who it is yet or (b) they don't want to pay the new actor yet or (c) both. While the motives for their dirty work are usually clean, revenge, their actions are just dumb and lazy. If someone with nearly unlimited resources and personal knowledge wanted to seek revenge, just kill people. Don't fake their deaths and keep the victims locked up on an island or a castle or an evil day spa. It's just lame.

The final method of laziness is forgotten storylines. Two years back, John was in the hospital and some shadowy figure was injecting him with the wrong medication making him worse. It turned out to be...Detective Tek. And then, nothing. John got better and we never found out why Tek was doing this. Lame, lame.

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